Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
[with some personal commentary]
At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. [and hope that the cops who come riding by don’t shoot first mistaking the hair dryer to be a gun]
Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.” [I’d love to do that to x-rays & CT scans]
Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ” For Smuggling Diamonds”
Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
Don’t use any punctuation [bongi already follows the “don’t use capital letters” policy]
As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”
Sing Along At The Opera. [or at the kutcheri if you are in Chennai in December]
Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme?
Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. [I don’t think this applies to us here in India - the mosquitoes will probably time their bites to the music]
Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.
Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won!, I Won!”
When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
“Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”
Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity…….
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
Its Called ……. therapy
I did better. I posted it in my blog for the benefit of my fans who
probably number in the thousands (it could be the tens or hundreds of
thousands or even millions, but I’m too modest).
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